I have found out that my birthfather had Schizophrenia... as you can imagine i'm shitting myself that i've finially found the route of my SA, and the fact that I'm feeling one step closer to getting it sorted. I havent had the guts to speak to anyone but my boyfriend about it, as hes probably the only person who wouldn't judge me. Schizophrenia is in the genes, i've looked it up. SA has been affected probably the most crucial parts of my life and basically ruined it, and its took me around 9-10 years to realise what is wrong with me & where it come from. Quite a breakthrough, just petrified of the next step....

Schizophrenia and Social Anxiety

SAD, also known as social phobia, is a disabling condition marked by severe and persistent fear of social situations in which the individual fears humiliation or embarrassment. It can be fear of a specific social work performance situation, such as public speaking, or a generalized fear of most social situations. The anxiety associated with the feared social situation may even provoke a panic attack. For many years, many clinicians ignored such complaints as simple shyness, but evidence has shown that the condition can be extremely disabling, both socially and occupationally. Given the dramatic nature of psychotic symptoms, it should not be surprising that "milder" comorbid conditions such as anxiety often go undetected in people with schizophrenia. Stephano Pini, MD,^[1] of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pisa, reviewed the literature about social anxiety associated with schizophrenia and some of the data collected at their institution.

There are many reports of high rates of SAD in clinical samples of patients with schizophrenia, ranging from 6.9% to 42.8%, with most studies finding 10% to 20%. While these should not be construed as true prevalence rates because they are usually from clinical samples from academic centers and do not use appropriate sampling techniques, the numbers are still impressive and point to a significant incidence of SAD in schizophrenia. While SAD was the focus of this symposium, it should be noted that there is evidence for higher rates of other anxiety disorders as well. Cosoff and Hafner^[2] reported on a study using a structure diagnostic interview to assess for anxiety disorders in 100 consecutively admitted patients with a psychotic disorder, 60 of whom had schizophrenia. They found that 17% of the patients with schizophrenia had SAD, 13% had obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and 12% had generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Of note, half of the subjects with comorbid anxiety and psychosis reported that the anxiety disorder had predated the psychosis by several years. In addition, almost none of the patients had been diagnosed or treated for their anxiety disorder. Dr. Pini's group has also published a study of consecutively hospitalized patients with psychotic disorders.^[3] Their findings were similar, with SAD present in 17.7% of the sample, OCD in 24%, and panic disorder also in 24%.

Have had a horrible time lately, have been social but its been hard, depressive and made me feel like I don't fit in. My conversational skills are so poor, its just made me want to see anyone. I was out today but I felt all depressive and needed to cry so badly, and think I was having a panic attack, so walked home fast as poss avoiding conversation where possible (men kept talking to me?! - I just ignored them, and walked away). I got in my door and cried, I really needed it though, and then felt awful for my baby boy who is stuck indoors all cos me..

...Think I might be telling people soon, I'm dreading it, I know everyone will look at me and think I'm mental.

Playing with son, walking, excercising, wii, healthy eating, drinking, going clubbing, dancing, drawing/paiting, being a mum, cooking, housework, shopping, fashion, takeaways, holidays, friends, family, get togethers, boyfriend, sex, internet: facebook, babycentre, reading baby magazines, dressing up, music, theme parks, cats, poker .......

I just can't conversate properly, so I get worked up beforehand & when I actually talk I can't think of anything to say and sound so dull, talking about such boring stuff that the person before me looks like they'd rather talk to a fucking brick. Sometimes I go completely silent, and the other person will too. But its always the other person that can strike up a convo in which I do not reply or reply an answer that the other person can't answer to. So we're silent again......

Grrr, just get so annoyed with myself.

I can't conversate brilliantly with ANYONE.

My partner and I had a conversation (how ironic) the other day about how I'm shy, and he said people get the impression I'm aragont which really upsets me - but not really suprising. He said my answers are too short, even with him sometimes. I wanted to cry over this conversation but I spose atleast I know how others perceive me. He told me I need to relax. He said that I'm great fun, and he knows I am, he said I just got to let myself go with other people. He said I chat for hours when I've been drinking but the conversations are usually talking about crap so its not real conversating. He said its easier for him where hes got his sports hobbies so he talks to his mates for hours about them.

I'm going away this weekend with people I don't see much and I had many awkward silences with them in the past, I'm absolutely dreading it and feel like calling it off cos I'm so anxious!! I can't stop worrying about it and am already trying to plan my convos which is totally abnormal, isnt it!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!